Salford Girl (Manchester) - a sassanach

[Whack all imperialists]

Salford girl goes to the council to register for child benefit
'
How many children?' asks the council worker?

'10' replies the Salford girl

'10???' says the council worker.. 'What are their names?'

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne'

'Doesn't that get confusing?'

'Naah...' says the Salford girl 'its great because if they are out
playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE,YER DINNER'S READY
or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it...'

'What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed
council worker.

'That's easy,' says the girl... 'I just use their surnames'



A Salford girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment
on the counter. 'I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.'
she says.

'Come again?' says the clerk, cupping his ear.

'No' she replies. 'This time it's mayonnaise.'



A Salford Girl enters a s*x shop & asks for a v*brator.

The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.'

She says 'I'll take the red one.'

The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.'



A Salford girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: 'It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?'

Girl: 'OK'

Medic: 'What's your name?'

Girl: 'Sharon ...

'Medic: 'OK Sharon, is this your car?'

Sharon: 'Yes.'

Medic: 'Where are you bleeding from?'

Sharon: 'Salford bud.'



A Salford girl was driving down the M5 when her car phone rang. It
was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, 'Tracy,I just heard on the
news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M5. Please be
careful!'

'It's not just one car!' said the Salford girl, 'There's hundreds of
them!'



Another Salford girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car
till she's lying flat out on the floor.

Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.'

Sharon: 'Ok.'

Medic: 'What's your name?'

Sharon: 'Sharon'

Medic: 'Where do you live?'

Sharon: ''Salford"

Medic: 'Ok Sharon. How many fingers have I got up?'

Sharon: 'Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!'

[Charles Ellson]

On Sun, 1 Jun 2008 08:25:15 -0700 (PDT), Whack all imperialists

Post by Whack all imperialists
Salford girl goes to the council to register for child benefit
'

<snip>
You do realise that confusing Salford with Manchester is comparable
with confusing Rangers with Celtic ?

[Whack all imperialists]

Post by Charles Ellson
On Sun, 1 Jun 2008 08:25:15 -0700 (PDT), Whack all imperialists

Post by Whack all imperialists
Salford girl goes to the council to register for child benefit
'

<snip>
You do realise that confusing Salford with Manchester is comparable
with confusing Rangers with Celtic ?

Wrong - I attended Salford University in 1994 (I still remember the
vicious types of defensive barbed wire with rotating shaving blades -
on full display). Most social evenings were spend just a short train/
bus/taxi trip away in Manchester. There was F*** all to do in Salford

[The Highlander]

Post by Whack all imperialists

Post by Charles Ellson
On Sun, 1 Jun 2008 08:25:15 -0700 (PDT), Whack all imperialists

Post by Whack all imperialists
Salford girl goes to the council to register for child benefit
'

<snip>
You do realise that confusing Salford with Manchester is comparable
with confusing Rangers with Celtic ?

Wrong - I attended Salford University in 1994 (I still remember the
vicious types of defensive barbed wire with rotating shaving blades -
on full display). Most social evenings were spend just a short train/
bus/taxi trip away in Manchester. There was F*** all to do in Salford

Except your weekly visit to the psychiatrist.
I have long suspected that you live in Anglistan and now it seems that
Salford may be where.

[Whack all imperialists]

Post by The Highlander

Post by Whack all imperialists

Post by Charles Ellson
On Sun, 1 Jun 2008 08:25:15 -0700 (PDT), Whack all imperialists

Post by Whack all imperialists
Salford girl goes to the council to register for child benefit
'

<snip>
You do realise that confusing Salford with Manchester is comparable
with confusing Rangers with Celtic ?

Wrong - I attended Salford University in 1994 (I still remember the
vicious types of defensive barbed wire with rotating shaving blades -
on full display).  Most social evenings were spend just a short train/
bus/taxi trip away in Manchester.  There was F*** all to do in Salford

Except your weekly visit to the psychiatrist.
I have long suspected that you live in Anglistan and now it seems that
Salford may be where.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

What happened to Kerry, Derry, Belfast, Dublin, Limerick........? The
broken clock is right twice a day.